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  •  

    good quote…thanks, p.gary!

    “[An idol] is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give.  A counterfeit god is anything so central and essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living…secure.”… If anything in life becomes more fundamental than God to your happiness, meaning in life, and identity, then it is an idol.  An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero— anything that can substitute for God.”
     
    Dennis Newkirk (2012-11-16). No gods but God: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idolatry (p. 17). CrossBooks. Kindle Edition.
     

     

  • blessings

    -pbc friends
    -forming friendships through gchat..haha
    -ministry..i love ministry
    -LA friends
    -claire bear and jojo..i miss them
    -klove
    -syckie and kathy got married!!!
    -suuuper fun weekend with the kiksta, wongs, erbium, and our new addition – christina
    -christina for erbium <3
    -being in norcal!
    -not for a moment by meredith andrews
    -hannah bean.. -meeting kaylee!
    -seeing bro and karen
    -my memory verse pack
    -emails with kimbo
    -long commutes to think / pray
    -MY JOB!
    -not having to work weekends
    -not having to work holidays
    -steve-o moved up to sf!!  yay!
    -going through the psalms with rose..i love
    -mom’s home-cooking
    -this life that we live
    -continuous, overflowing, abundant, undeserved blessings
    -finishing twelve extraordinary women with book-clubbers
    -hearing their insights / thoughts
    -constant encouragement and fellowship even when i don’t expect it
    -finishing the pentateuch!
    -the preaching of God’s Word
    -pbc!
    -the encouragement of the saints
    -God’s grace…

    “i said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord’; i have no good besides You … i have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, i will not be shaken.  therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely … You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”
    -psalm 16:2, 8-9, 11

  •  

    g reminded me that today would have been ray’s 30th birthday.  i do remember that his birthday was close to pastor Gary’s as we celebrated both their birthdays last year at flock.  rarely did I have a Saturday off, but that weekend I did so we worked out together at his gym.  i listened to a sermon while he listened to music.  side by side on the ellipticals.  we’d stop every now and then and talk, laugh, share stories and secrets.  i couldn’t stay long enough to eat lunch with him, but there was enough time for him to make me some fresh squeezed orange juice.  he always wanted to give his friends the best and spoil them with whatever he could give, though he always joked that he never used organic fruit for my juices.  those were reserved for the special people :P .  who knew that in only one short year so much could change and he would no longer be not just a part, but any part of my life.

    i still think of him often.  it hurts me when I think of an inside joke that only we could share..that only he would understand or laugh at.  it hurts me to know that he’s not accessible via text or phone.  he’s not accessible at all.  I miss him.  that’s really all I can say.

    i don’t ask why as often anymore.  It truly is not something that I can know in this lifetime.  all I can do is continue to trust in my God, who I know is good and loving, merciful, yet righteous and just.  man is fully responsible for sin that they willfully choose to commit, yet God is still fully sovereign in every situation that occurs.  I only know this because the bible states it to be true..and that’s really all I can cling onto.

    thank you, g, for the gentle exhortation and timely reminder:

    “In remembering his death, may I ask of you to remember each other. We are, after all, of the same household of faith. There is a bond that we have in common: Christ’s grace laden salvation. Let’s start treating each other as Christ has treated us: A plethora of forgiveness, a lavishing of grace, and an eagerness to see to each other’s needs. How can behavior as that come back void?”

     

  • mexicali friday.
    maru saturday.

    oh my.

    pleased

    it’s gonna be a yummy weekend!

    (and i just realized i know some amazing chefs! )

  • my 60 year old coworker..

    “let’s find a young guy for you and an old guy for me…”

    “or we can put up an ad that says ‘ladies looking for young male and his dad.’”

     

  • it’s official

    i finally settled down.  no, i didn’t get married.  i became a member at pillar baptist church!  woohoo, the membership voted me in!  good thing i’ve been on my best behavior.  i can let the real me come out now !

  •  

    there are many friends I care about..and some I really, really care about.  one of those friends is Felicia.

    happy birthday from Massachusetts!  I love you!  :D

  • it’s been two weeks.  it’s time to move forward.

    19 But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David perceived that the child was dead; so David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” And they said, “He is dead.” 20 So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate.
    -2 samuel 12:19-20

  • regaining my footing..
    there’s light, there’s hope,
    there’s more peace in my heart..


    This (C)hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which (D)enters [c]within the veil,     20 (E)where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a (F)high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.
    -hebrews 6:19-20

    i am thankful for friends, for family,
    but most of all for the Truths of God’s Word.


    The law of the Lord is [d](I)perfect, (J)restoring the soul;
    -psalm 19:7a

    everyday gets better, everyday gets easier.
    so thankful for the love of the saints.
    and the preaching of the Word.


    But when this [u]perishable will have put on [v]the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “(CF)Death is swallowed up in victory.     55 (CG)O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” 56 The sting of (CH)death is sin, and (CI)the power of sin is the law; 57 but (CJ)thanks be to God, who gives us the (CK)victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.     58 (CL)Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in (CM)the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.
    -1 corinthians 15:54-58

  • …

    heart remains heavy…

    ups and downs.

    remembering then forgetting then remembering again.

    loss of sleep, loss of appetite, it’s all part of the process…

    …

    yet seeing God’s goodness, grace, mercy, & love in it all.

    seeing God’s providence, provision, sovereignty.

    seeing saints overcome and fight and love Him more.

    my heart is bound to those who mourn, to those who know, to those who understand.

    yet we are all learning different things.  mourning in different ways.

    my weaknesses / fears are manifesting itself.

    thankful, so thankful for gary, chie, timon, and liz.

    …

    i need to love Christ above all else.

    there can be no competing desires of my heart/soul/mind.

    only by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit at work within me and the Son interceding on my behalf can any of this be possible.

    i am weak in my flesh.

    sin is strong.

    but God is stronger…much stronger.

    …

    God, draw me to You.

    “therefore if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”
    2 corinthians 5:17